“Hard as it is to believe, emotional safety is not to be founding most relationships. That is because most relationships are addictive and temporary. They end in mutual distrust and/or abandonment. Yet, when we “fall in love,” we have the expectation that they are offering us not only safety, but perpetual bliss. If there ever was a set-up in life, this would have to be it! What better way to punish yourself than to enter into one destructive relationship after another?
The question, of course, is how do we avoid this scenario of “falling in love” and betraying ourselves? The answer it not to refuse to fall in love or to isolate ourselves, but to “fall in love” consciously, or to simply “be” in love. To be in love is to be present with the other person through all of the ups and downs of experience…It means to go into relationship with open eyes, seeing all that unfolds. It means not seeing selectively. Not seeing just what you want to believe.”
Paul Ferrini, in ‘The Silence of the Heart”
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