“In relationships, the primary motivator for manipulation is emotional insecurity. If I can get you to feel guilty, you will stay where I want you and do what I like. You will have sex with me, give me money, keep a roof over my head, or drive the kids where I tell you. If you feel bad enough about yourself, I will hold the power to make choices for you that serve me. We call this “love.” Or “marriage.” Yet love and marriage have nothing to do with keeping each other small; their purpose is to bestow richer life, not imprisonment. It’s not love if it hurts.”
Alan Cohen, in “Why Your Life Sucks…And What You Can Do About It
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