“Ruminating over the past focuses on looking back and reliving the details of your loss over and over and over. The movie keeps playing in your head…It can sneak into your mind at any time. Each time the movie plays in your head, a few more facts might fall into place – another detail here, another detail there. You can trick yourself into thinking that it is actually constructive to keep going over these details. Perhaps you believe you‘re filling in the gaps to try to fully understand what happened – but with no end in sight.
A particularly troubling thought pattern involves questioning, “Why me?” Well, why not you? Everyone suffers with something. Honestly, they do. This just happens to be your stuff – right here and right now. You might think that more analysis is required. But that is not what’s happening. You are stuck in this movie – with no popcorn in sight…This type of ruminating actually causes more pain and leaves you stuck in the past without a bridge to the future. Stop the movie. The past is the past. The cost of ruminating is significant. You give up your present – and all of your life choices – by steadfastly hanging on to the past.”
Donna Marie Thompson, in “Bouncing Back From Loss”
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