“In all sports, contests, job interviews, and vying for promotions, there are perceived winners and losers. And in our society, winning is everything. Everyone has a choice in life to look at the outcome of a situation or event as success and failure, or learn what works and develop a new strategy. If we look at the world in the “either/or” terms of winning and losing, it leads us down one path. Either we win and others lose or the reverse is true, they win and we lose. This win-lose scenario creates a negative path that can lead to frustration, resentment, and anger. The negativity begins to dampen our self-esteem. Conversely, when we look at losses or problems as opportunities, as if one door is closing and another door opens, it creates a different world for us.
How many times in your life were you passed over for a job, only to have a better opportunity open up for you? Or a relationship that you wanted to work out didn’t, only to create the space for a new relationship to come into your life that far exceeded any expectations you had of the previous one? Many of us have experienced unfortunate events. Successful people do not view life in “either/or” terms. They examine what works and what does not work. They make adjustments and implement new tactics. Successful people don’t take it personally. There is no impact to their self-esteem when they make an unsuccessful attempt to obtain their goal.”
Gary Spinell, in “It Was You, All Along”
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