“Many times there are things in our lives that we don’t like, that we want to change, but we make the same mistakes, the same choices, expecting that the result will be different. Well, it will not be different. The only way to change your life is to change the choices, to change the actions. If there is something in your life that you don’t like, first you have to be aware that it is the result of something that YOU do. It’s the result of a choice that YOU made. Then if you take one step back and focus your attention on what is happening just before that result, you will find what you did that isn’t working, what you did that caused the result you don’t want.
Once you find out what action you took, the next step is to forgive the reaction and change the choice, change the action, and see what the reaction is. If you don’t like the result again, you can change it again and again until you have the result you want.
Perhaps you cannot control what is going to happen around you, but you can certainly control your own reaction. Your reaction is the clue to having a wonderful life. Why? Because what makes you happy or unhappy is not what is happening around you, but how you choose to react to it. If you can learn to change your own reactions, then you can change your habits and routines, change the program, and change your life.”
Don Miguel Ruiz, in “The Four Agreements Companion Book”
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