“Jesus may have been able to turn the other cheek, but most of us need to go through a process of venting our anger and feeling grief over our injuries before we can develop compassion for the woundedness in another person that led to their bad deeds. To “forgive” prematurely, before we have harvested the wisdom of our wounds, is like spraying cologne on garbage. Soon the stench will rise again.
We have to be gentle with ourselves when forgiveness takes time to accomplish. And we have to understand that forgiveness is freedom of mind and heart, not an invitation to be hurt again. Once we have forgiven our enemies, we are under no obligation to invite them for dinner, let them out of jail, or speak to them again unless appropriate.”
Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., in “The Ways of the Mystic: Seven Paths to God”
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